Gearing up for Camp - 2013

Camp season is almost here and we are getting ready for another wonderful and memorable summer at Camp Iroquois Springs.  Our campers are starting to gather their camp clothes and supplies and are feeling just as excited as we are for the summer to begin.  Along with this excitement may also be some feelings of anticipated homesickness.  Even campers that are truly looking forward to camp, be it their first or fifth summer, may experience some feelings of homesickness.  Michael Thompson, Ph.D. specializing in children and families, says that homesickness is completely normal.  “Ninety-five percent of children experience at least a bit of homesick feelings when they are away from their parents at summer camp”.  The good news is that these feelings do not stop the majority of campers from experiencing a wonderful summer at camp.  Campers know that their feelings come from a place of loving their family, and that in itself is a great comfort. 

If your camper is starting to express some concerns about missing you and the comforts of home, here are some ways to help prepare him or her (and yourself) for opening day. 

Be positive:  Let your child know how much fun he or she is going to have, trying new activities and meeting new friends.  Discuss the different camp activities, and encourage your child to get involved in all that camp has to offer. Stay away from telling them how much you will miss them or how the summer won’t be the same without them.   

Review the Day:  Discuss what a typical day at camp looks like.  The camp day may be very different from the routine at home, so go over things like wake-up, lights out, meals, etc…  Take a look at the camp brochure and DVD and familiarize your camper with the camp schedule.  Having an idea of what to expect creates a feeling of comfort even before camp begins.

Attend New Family Orientation:  If possible, attend what your camp offers for new families.  It’s a great opportunity to meet key staff and get familiar with the camp grounds and facilities.  Campers will have a chance to see the camp and meet other new campers in their division. 

Encourage Reaching Out:  Let your camper know that feelings of homesickness are normal, and that there are plenty of camp staff they can talk to if they are feeling upset.  Reassure them that counselors are there to help them get through the transition from home to camp.  Campers can also reach out to other campers for support, as they are most likely not alone in missing home.

Speak with Confidence:  Let your child know that you believe in them and that they will do great at camp.  Empower them to believe in themselves and trust that in time they will feel less homesick and have a wonderful summer.  Children who work through feelings of homesickness and stick it through will feel proud of themselves and feel capable to take on other new challenges.

Keep the Letters Coming:  Send a letter (or email) to your camper even before camp begins.  This way, they will have mail waiting for them when they first arrive, making the transition to camp a bit easier.  Keep the letters coming all summer long, and encourage your camper to write home as well.  Pack your camper with stationary and addressed stamped envelopes so they could easily send out letters to family and friends. 

Bring a Piece of Home:  Have your child pack a special reminder from home, like a favorite stuffed animal or pillow to put on their bed.  Small comforts of home go a long way.  Family photos are also a great way to feel connected to loved ones. 

Schedule a Sleepover:  If your child has never slept outside of the house, have them sleep at a friend’s house before camp begins. This will give them some idea of what it is like to be away from home. 

Practice Independence:  If going to camp is new to your child, practice skills like showering, brushing teeth, getting dressed and making their bed, on their own.  Being able to take care of these basic needs independently will help your child feel more capable and confident.  

These suggestions may not take away all feelings of homesickness, but will definitely better prepare your child for the camp experience and help them have an easier transition to the world of camp.  And don’t be surprised when the summer is over and they express feeling “homesick” for their family and friends at camp!

How Camp Builds Confidence

We have all had moments when we reacted before thinking. Times we let our frustration get the best of us, and lost touch with being understanding and patient with our children. As parents, with hectic schedules and constant multitasking, these moments may occur more often than we want them too.  Our goal as parents is to raise happy, self confident children, who believe in themselves and their abilities.  So when our behavior does not coincide with that goal, we question our parenting and hope that we have not harmed our children’s sense of self.  Even when most days go well and we are positive forces in our children’s lives, it’s easy to dwell on the moments we wish we could have a “do-over”.

I experienced a less than perfect parenting moment last week when my 6 year old daughter was going to dance class.  She is sensitive to change, and would not go into the class after she peeked in and noticed a substitute dance teacher, someone she was not familiar with.  No encouragement could get her to stop crying and walk into the room.  I didn’t exactly let her know I understood her feelings, and instead got frustrated that she was going to miss class. My lack of sensitivity only led to more crying and I’m sure her feeling badly about herself.  After we drove away, I of course felt badly too and wished I could have done things differently, been a bit more patient and in tune to her feelings.  It got me thinking about self confidence and how we could so easily damage it without being aware of our actions.  I felt even worse after reading up on this topic and being reminded  that children whose feelings are accepted and supported by their parents tend to be much more “emotionally literate”, confident and secure.  Okay….I will try my best to do things differently going forward.

A great deal is written about building confidence in children and how it is the prerequisite for believing in ourselves and pursuing our dreams.  Dr. Sears believes that self-esteem is a child’s passport to lifetime mental health and social happiness.  “How people value themselves, get along with others, perform at school, achieve at work, and relate in marriage, all stem from strength of their self-image”.  Family therapist, Jane Nelsen says self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing we are capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile.  With so many professionals expressing the importance of a healthy self-esteem, it is our job as parents to provide our children with the tools to believe in themselves and the confidence to handle any situation life throws their way. 

Some recommended strategies include:

Provide Encouragement:  Everyone responds well to encouragement.  Be sure to acknowledge the efforts as well as the successes. 

Accept them for who they are:  Children benefit when they feel accepted for who they are, regardless of their strengths, difficulties or abilities. 

Support Healthy Risk Taking:  Encourage children to try new things, and let them learn from their mistakes.  Working hard toward something, set-backs and all, helps children feel a real sense of accomplishment. 

Have a “can-do” attitude:  Children blossom when we expect them to blossom.  If you let your child know you believe in them, they will believe in themselves. 

Pay Attention:  Giving undivided attention helps children feel valued and important and builds self-worth.

Listen:  Accept emotions without judgement to help children feel valued. 

Be a Positive Role Model:  Try your best and acknowledge your own efforts and accomplishments.

These strategies that can help parents raise confident children are also being implemented at overnight camp.  Camp provides a natural environment of taking healthy risks, being encouraged to do your best, and being acknowledged for the efforts as much as the successes.  Campers feel a sense of belonging, are accepted for who they are, and are surrounded by positive role models.  Parents are often amazed at the level of confidence their campers return home with at the end of the summer.    So in our quest to raise self-confident children, it’s nice to know camp helps lay the foundation that will help our children face life’s challenges, set and achieve goals, try new things and have positive social experiences for years to come.  

Why Camp Makes You Feel Connected To Each Other

Feeling connected to the people in our lives brings a feeling of personal well being and happiness.  Social connection is important not only for psychological well-being, but also improves physical health.  But with today’s technology, social connection has taken on a whole new meaning.  Technology has opened our world of social connections far beyond our family and circle of friends.  We can text, email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin and Skype just about anyone.  We can share our lives for all to see, and learn about the lives of anyone willing to put the information out there.  But does this increase in numbers bring greater happiness and well being, or somehow create a false sense of connection and make us feel more isolated and lonely?  Sherry Turkle, professor of Science, Technology and Society at MIT, and author of Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other, studies how technology is shaping our modern relationships.  Turkle speaks of the psychological power the devises we use have, and how they are changing what we do and who we are.  “There are no limits to the places and circumstances we will take out our phones and start texting.  We are texting during meetings, meal times, while driving, shopping, and sadly while socializing.  Nobody is paying attention to each other anymore, and we may be setting ourselves up for trouble.  We are hiding from each other even when we are in the same room”. 

Turkle believes that adolescents need to develop face to face interactions and have real conversations, conversations that cannot be controlled by editing or deleting, but real conversations that have real outcomes.  Yes, they may be messy and full of mistakes, but there is so much to learn from them.  Jay Baer, social media and content strategist, and speaker and co-author of The NOW Revolution, talks about how social media forces upon us a feeling of intimacy and closeness that doesn’t actually exist.  “Technology and our use of it isn’t – as we’ve all hoped – bringing us closer together.  In fact, it may be driving us farther apart, as we know more and more people, but know less and less about each of them”.   

Turkle and Baer’s views made me think how important overnight camp is, now more than ever.  Camp is all about making connections, real face to face connections that require listening and focus, and bring us close to one another in a way technology cannot possibly do.  At camp, we learn about each other through playing and engaging in different camp activities and events.  We get to interact face to face and respond in the moment.  These real connections allow us to learn about others as well as ourselves.  At camp, our activities are not interrupted by having to post comments about what we are doing or how we feel about it, we are in the moment. We do not have to remove ourselves from one another.  At camp, we replace postings and online sharing with real communications. “Children who do not learn real interactions, which often have flaws and imperfections, will come to know a world where perfect, shiny screens give them a false sense of intimacy without risk”, says Turkle.  “They need to think independently of a device.  They need to be able to explore their imagination”.

Technology can of course be helpful and make our lives easier in so many ways, but can never replace the value of having a face to face conversation and spending time with friends and really listening and sharing.  It’s the only way to form and experience real connections. Social media is a great way to stay in touch but if you want to form a true connection, take some time to unplug and tune in.