The Value of Emotional Intelligence

Take a moment to think about your favorite teacher, favorite coach, favorite camp counselor, or favorite boss.  What makes them so special, so admired and so well respected?  Why do they stand out as successful leaders?  They most likely have what clinical psychologist and author Daniel Goleman refers to as Emotional Intelligence.  They probably exhibit great social skills, patience, empathy, self-awareness and the ability to listen.  They may have high intellect as well, but that is probably not what makes them the great leaders they turned out to be.  Goleman found that while the qualities traditionally associated with leadership – like intelligence and vision - are required for success, they do not paint the full picture.  Intellect can help you get the job, but Emotional Intelligence can help you keep it and continue to climb the ladder of success. Emotional Intelligence involves the ability to recognize and manage one’s own emotions, as well as understanding others’ emotions and effectively communicate with them.  Research supports that Emotional Intelligence has also been found to be one of the most important factors in determining quality and satisfaction of relationships, level of achievement in school and work, and emotional well-being and happiness.  

Home and school are great places to learn skills of Emotional Intelligence, but summer camp may be the one place where Emotional Intelligence is taught and modeled in a natural setting.  There is no need for lesson plans at camp, teachable moments occur on a daily bases.  Campers that are living and playing together have an optimal environment to learn skills of sharing, cooperation, empathy, listening, problem solving, and self-awareness.  Trained camp staff model behavior that encourages effective social interactions…they facilitate the exploration of feelings and emotions whenever a group conflict arises….they provide structure and appropriate discipline… and maintain a positive environment.  Camp teaches healthy relationships, assertive self-expression, and approaching conflict as an opportunity to learn and make positive changes.   These lessons are taught in the most ordinary ways.  It happens when campers have to wait their turn at waterskiing…when they shout words of support to a peer who is fearful of making it to the top of the climbing wall…when an introverted camper is encouraged to challenges themselves and decides to take a part in the camp play…when a bunkmate who is upset learns to express their feelings with constructive words instead of acting out...when friends sit around the camp fire sharing stories and truly listening to one another.  

  

The teachable moments are available on a daily basis, and campers learn so much in a short period of time about themselves, how to get along with others, and hopefully becoming great leaders.  As more and more children grow into adults who feel good about themselves, manage their emotions effectively, communicate clearly, learn how to resolve conflicts and how to meet their needs in a positive way, we will be raising successful leaders in all areas of life.  

Why the World Needs Summer Camp: An Essay to Parents

Jeff Merhige

It is not easy for parents to make the decision to send their child away into the waiting arms of strangers who promise to take care of them — people who promise to show them the wonders of nature, fun, new skills, and friendships. As a parent of two children, even I struggle with the idea, and I have been around summer camps my entire life.

The world needs the next generation to be more tolerant of each other’s views, ideology, and beliefs. Summer camp is an opportunity for children to be exposed to the best of human character. Carefully selected role models are dedicated to showing your child how to have fun, learn from others, and make friends in person rather than online. Camp allows kids to meet people from all over the world, every race, culture, and socioeconomic level. I still remember one of my counselors, Danny, from England, explaining to me, “The world is full of excuses. It doesn’t matter where you came from or what has happened to you. At the end of the day you choose how you treat others.”

There is something magical about a summer camp experience. Each and every camp in the world is different. Not merely because of geography or location, but because of the traditions and people who have touched the camp. Every camp has hidden treasures of history and traditions that give it character and identity. Even with agency camps like the YMCA where there is a common mission, every camp is unique in its style, program, games, geography, traditions, and experience.

Every staff member, alumni camper, and volunteer has memories associated with their time at their camp — memories that stay with them for their lifetime. Most people remember with fondness the coun¬selors, cabins, camp food, camp outs, and special happenings of their time.

Camp is an independent experience that shapes one’s character and life — a controlled, safe environment where chil-dren and youth are able to make their own decisions about simple things (what activity they want to do, how many s’mores they want to make, or what clothes they are going to wear) and about important things (who they will hang out with . . . who will be their friends).

Camp is a place where kids interact with people face-to-face and, at the same time, learn about themselves and others around a camp fire, under the stars, or sitting around a dining hall table. Camp allows the idea of boarding the train to Hogwarts to go from fantasy to reality — children find a world filled with possibilities unavailable to them in everyday life.

Camps give kids a chance to practice being the best they can be. They experience a place designed to create happy memories and encourage self-expression. They have the opportunity to climb towers, ride horses, shoot an arrow, and even experience the success of winning the big game! It stays with them forever. Kids will learn from a full range of emotions and human experi¬ences including homesickness, friendship, disagreements, team work, frustrations, jubilant success, and more.

As parents, our hopes and jobs are to ready our kids to be productive, independent, and capable people — to prepare them to thrive without us. Camp offers a way for kids to start developing those skills in the best possible environment. It makes me a bit sad every time my son runs off to join his cabin group without even a look back . . . and at the same time, I burst with pride watching him growing into a happy, independent, tolerant, open, confident, and capable person. I know that we will have plenty to talk about when he gets home from camp. I also know he will remember the trust and gift of his time at camp, and it will add to him for the rest of his life.

There is so much competition for our children’s time in the summer — sports practices, summer school, well-deserved vacations. But let’s not forget the value of a camp experience — camp is a gift we can give our children that they will benefit from and remember forever. If ever there was a time when the world needed a generation of future leaders who understood the intrica¬cies of living in a community, having toler¬ance, and being open — that time is now.

Jeff Merhige is the executive director of YMCA Camp Kern, a branch of the Greater Dayton YMCA. He has been professionally involved with camping for over twenty years. He and his wife, Amy, met at camp, and have two children, Sydney and Luke.

Originally published in the 2011 November/December Camping Magazine.

Happy Thanksgiving from Iroquois Springs

This is the week I get to dust off the “Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” DVD, get cozy with the kids, and watch Snoopy whip up a Thanksgiving dinner of popcorn, candy and other treats for the Peanuts gang.  I love this tradition in our house, and getting ready for a day filled with family and friends, to eat, give thanks and celebrate being together.  In light of recent events, there are many families that may be feeling frazzled and unable to focus on the joy of the holiday.  Thoughts of rebuilding homes and lives after much loss and hardship may be the focal point this holiday season.  Many families may not have the luxury of watching their favorite Thanksgiving Day show or enjoying a home cooked meal in their own kitchen….but Thanksgiving may be a nice reprieve to take a moment to be thankful for what they do have and the people who love and support them.  It’s not always easy to feel thankful in times of hardship, but being thankful in hard times is what Thanksgiving is all about.  H. U. Westermayer wrote “The pilgrims were impoverished and struggled through much hardship, but they set aside a day for giving thanks, a day that has become our Thanksgiving”.  This Thanksgiving may be quite different from what was ever imagined, but taking a moment to appreciate things like our health, family, friends, jobs….can go a long way in times of struggle. 

The spirit of Thanksgiving is also about giving…showing gratitude for your good fortune and giving to those who are less fortunate.  Gratitude instills feelings of hope, inspiration and forgiveness.  And this year has been exceptional, with so many individuals and organizations from all over giving back by donating, volunteering, and providing support to those who have fallen on hard times. This has been a moment in time when children have considered the world outside their reality and developed greater empathy and compassion.  We have all learned a lot from Hurricane Sandy and can feel grateful for the lessons learned.  Because at the end of the day, houses will be rebuilt and lives will return to normalcy, but the lessons will exist far beyond the repairs.  This Thanksgiving, I think we all have a greater appreciation for what we have as well as what we can give back. 

We hope that all of our campers are thankful for so many things, but especially their amazing camp friends…counselors that make the camp experience so special….being a part of the Iroquois Springs community…how safe camp makes you feel…and most importantly taking part in the Project Morry Swim-a thon and allowing others to enjoy the camp experience.  We are thankful for all our camp families and wish you all a safe, happy, and healthy Thanksgiving. 

 “Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action”.     W. J. Cameron

Communities Coming Together

We hope this blog finds you safe and secure after a very trying past couple of weeks.  Hurricane Sandy and the Nor’easter that followed, has changed the lives of so many people throughout the area.  While some communities were lucky enough to have minimal damages and inconveniences of lost power or fallen trees, others have been devastated by flooded streets and lost homes.  Hurricane Sandy has impacted neighborhood homes, schools, hospitals and places of business. The images and stories have been heartbreaking and the recovery is going to be long and tiring for communities that have been directly affected by this powerful force.   In times like this, of devastating proportion, it is amazing to see the outpouring of kindness and support of those who want to help out and provide assistance to those in need.  People from all over are donating clothing, food, toiletries, batteries, money and time to try and make the recovery a bit smoother for those who have lost so much.  Though nothing is good about tragic times, and we wish they didn’t have to happen, the one positive thing is the lesson of giving.

Times of difficulty can provide wonderful teaching moments about the value of pitching in and helping those who are struggling.  They provide us with an opportunity to teach our children the importance of community service and helping those in need.  It’s not uncommon for children to be living in a “me” world and not understand that things happen outside of their universe.  Taking part in community service teaches compassion, understanding and empathy.  It teaches valuable life skills like teamwork and communication.  It teaches us to be thankful for what we have and teaches tolerance and respect for others.  Community service instills a sense of responsibility and a feeling that one person can make a difference.  Learning to pitch in and help out will be remembered for a lifetime.  In years to come, children may not remember how many days the lights were out, but will remember the acts of kindness they and their community provided.

The organizations that provide relief efforts are (thank goodness) plentiful.  The American Red Cross, Salvation Army, Habitat for Humanity, Catholic Charities USA, Humane Society, Jewish Federations of North America, and City Harvest are just a few in the vast number of organizations that are devoted to helping those in need. But it is also the local neighborhood efforts that make a difference.  Communities are uniting to collect supplies like clean socks and toothbrushes.  Fundraising drives are being held to raise money for everyday necessities.  Families are donating their toys to children who have been displaced from their homes and staying in local shelters.  Every act of kindness makes a difference and is appreciated. 

From all of us at Camp Iroquois Springs, we hope you are safe and are being given the support you need during this difficult time.  We wish everyone the best and have you all in our thoughts.  

The Benefits of Overnight Camp

If you grew up attending overnight camp, you have first-hand experience of the positive effects camp can have on a young person, and most likely want that for your children.  You already know about living in the great outdoors, making lifelong friends and experiencing the many activities and challenges camp has to offer.  But what if you are someone who did not get to experience overnight camp life, and want to know more about what camp is all about before sending your children on this adventure?  You have probably heard from friends and people in your community, how positive a camp experience can be, and it’s true.

For starters….Camp gives children a sense of belonging.  Campers are brought together, to communicate, work together, learn about one another, and develop true friendships.   Campers act as a team to keep their cabin clean, win a group challenge or help a friend achieve a goal.  They learn the give and take of a group setting and rely on each other for support and guidance. The natural result of belonging to a community and working together is not only improved social skills but improved problem solving skills and leadership qualities.

A sense of belonging and having true friends leads to facing fears and taking on new challenges.  Having the support of friends and staff that have your back and encourage you to try new things in a safe environment, can be the extra push campers need to test their own limits and accomplish things they never thought possible.  Campers are exposed to activities they may have never tried before, such as water skiing, horseback riding, skateboarding, outdoor adventure or acting in the camp play.  Each accomplishment builds self-confidence.  Research has shown that true self-esteem comes not from what other people say, but from overcoming obstacles and developing skills.  With the assistance and guidance of specialists at camp, children learn to master different skills and accomplish goals.  There is no better feeling than getting up on water skis for the first time, or reaching the top of the climbing wall.  Each success further builds their self-confidence and willingness to take on new challenges.

Increased confidence and self-esteem leads to newfound independence, and a willingness to take on responsibilities.  Each morning campers choose what they are going to wear, what they are going to eat, and what electives they are going to choose.  Even if it is a camper’s first time making decisions, they do come to rely on themselves if given the opportunity.  Responsibilities at camp, like making your bed each morning, increases awareness of what needs to be done at home.  When children return home from camp, many parents say they are more mature and more responsible than when they left for camp.   

And of course, camp offers an increase in physical activity and healthier lifestyle, while reconnecting with nature. Camps that do not allow electronic devices give campers a chance to slow down and refocus on what is all around them.  When campers are participating in an activity, they are fully focused on that activity, free from the distractions of texting, emailing, or using Facebook.  Camp brings everyone outdoors and increases awareness and appreciation of both nature and one another.

These examples are just a handful of the positives that a camp experience can bring.  It is a chance for young people to have fun, broaden their horizons, and develop life skills that will be with them throughout adulthood.