All The Best For 2013 !!!

The holidays are here and the year 2012 is coming to a close.  With New Year’s Eve just around the corner, many of us are beginning to look toward 2013 and deciding what changes, or “resolutions”, we want to make and (hopefully) follow through with.  New Year’s Eve has always been a time for looking back, reflecting on both the good and not so good, and most importantly, anticipating the year ahead.  This time of introspection often paves the way for positive change and hopes of a fresh start, and who couldn’t benefit from that? 

A New Year’s Resolution is a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit (Wikipedia.org).  Coming up with goals to make our lives happier, healthier, and more fulfilling is the easy part.  It’s keeping up with these changes and new habits that is the challenge we all face.  It takes perseverance, motivation, commitment and sometimes the support of others to make change happen.  But no matter how difficult it may be to stick with our resolutions, the idea behind making them is a great message to send our kids.  Setting personal and family goals is a great way to teach about self-discipline and commitment, and can result in feelings of accomplishment and great sense of self. 

Setting New Year’s resolutions (or any goal) should be thought out, realistic and age-appropriate.  So gather the family to reflect on the past, discuss what changes each member would like to make to create a happier self and improved household, and then have a plan.  If your 10 year old proclaims that her resolution is to keep her room cleaner in 2013, have a clear plan to help support this goal.  It could be as simple as setting aside one hour every Monday for her to clean up her desk and personal belongings in her room.  Having a goal that is doable will keep the positive change alive.    

We are all familiar with the goals typically on the top of most New Year’s resolution lists, including losing weight, exercising more, kicking a bad habit, and getting organized.  The list of self-improvement is plentiful.  But some of my favorite resolutions are ones that the entire family can get involved in and are included on the Statisticbrain.com website as part of the top 10 New Year’s resolutions for 2012.  Hope they make it to 2013. 

1.      (#6) Learn Something New and Exciting:  Instead of just improving on something you already do, why not focus on expanding your horizons and pursue a new activity or talent.  Learn a new language or musical instrument, try out for a team you’ve never joined before, or audition for the school or community play.  Kids at camp do this every summer.  They take on adventures and challenges they never thought possible, and they walk away with the rewards of a new skill and improved self-confidence.   

2.     (#10) Spend More Time with Family:  Schedules are filled to the max and sometimes weeks can go by without really seeing our family members.  Scheduling time together is important and can be as simple as having family game night, reading together before bedtime, or planning a weekly sit down meal, free of electronics or outside distractions.  Catching up on the week will help everyone feel closer and more connected.  Last year, my father asked my sister and I to free up Sunday mornings so that we could all have family time together over breakfast, grandkids and all.  I can’t say we never missed a breakfast, but knowing the time was allotted made it easier to schedule the rest of the weekend, and we did our best to be there.  It was time well spent and so important for the three generations to share that time together. 

3.     (#8) Help Others:  Volunteering could be the resolution that keeps on giving – to yourself and others.  Committing your time and energy for the benefit of others is a fulfilling and gratifying experience.  It’s easy to get caught up in what we can do to improve our own lives in the New Year, but bettering the lives of others can bring even bigger rewards.  Helping others can take the form of becoming a mentor, being a part of building community homes, or volunteering at a nursing home.  The opportunities to help are endless. 

4.     (#4) Enjoy Life to the Fullest:  This last one is a bit vague, but it deserves to be mentioned.  With so much stress and pressure on both children and adults in today’s families, it’s a good reminder to stop breathe, laugh, and enjoy life.  Whatever you decide to do to make life more enjoyable, be safe, be responsible and be happy. 

We wish you all a very Happy Holiday season and all the best for a peaceful and joyful New Year.  See you in 2013!

The Value of a Mentor

January is National Mentoring Month.  It’s the time of year our nation spotlights the importance of mentors and the need for every child to have a caring adult in his or her life.  Dictionary.com defines the word mentor as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.  To be a mentor, you don’t need special skills or a lifetime of experience; just the ability to offer friendship, guidance, encouragement and support.  A mentor is a person with good character, wisdom to share, and of course a person you admire and strive to be like.  Mentors offer young people an experienced friend who is there to help them in a variety of situations.  The mentoring.org web site notes some of the values of mentoring as (1) improving a young person’s self-esteem, (2) providing support for new behaviors, (3) helping keep students in school, (4) helping young people learn how to relate well to all kinds of people and strengthening communication skills, and (5) helping set career goals and start taking steps to realize them. 

We often think of mentors as role models in the workplace, but the mentor–protégé relationship exists in so many other areas of life.  It’s the college professor who helps you pursue your career goals; the sports coach who helps you develop greater skills and the confidence to keep playing; the neighbor who listens to your concerns and guides you in making responsible choices; and the camp counselor who assists you in navigating through a summer of new experiences and greater independence.  Choosing to be a mentor is accepting an important role in a young person’s life.  Regardless of the setting, be it the workplace or a less formal setting of summer camp, mentors can have a profound impact by being leaders who are trustworthy, supportive and encouraging.   

I know the value of a good mentor because I was lucky enough to have two of them.  The first was Marylou… my camp counselor when I was 12 years old.  Marylou was funny, kind, honest, and was always there to listen.  She had a willingness to share and be open, was a great role model and friend, and was admired by all the girls in the group.  Aside from the activities she encouraged us to participate in, and confidence she instilled in us, she set a strong example when it came to developing friendships and navigating our way through the days at camp.  And though it has been over 30 years, I can still see her face and remember what a great counselor (and mentor) she was.  And then there was George…my internship supervisor in graduate school.   George was a remarkable man and teacher who helped me develop the skills I needed to be an effective school counselor and the wisdom to listen and guide people to live happier lives.  My favorite part of the day was sitting down with George and (what he referred to as) “chatting”.  I learned so much from our chats and George never forgot to tell me how much he learned from me in return.  I am truly thankful for the mentors that helped shape my life, and I only hope that everyone has a mentor in their lives that they can think of in such a positive light.  

     

“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction”.   John Crosby

Another Great Camp Reunion

The holiday season is upon us and so is Camp Reunion season.  It’s that time of year campers eagerly anticipate reconnecting with camp friends face to face.  All of us here at Camp Iroquois Springs had the pleasure of seeing our camp family at our 12th annual camp reunion held on Sunday December 2^nd at New Rock City.  The day was filled with fun, reminiscing and a whole lot of smiles and laughter.   Campers enjoyed the games, laser tag and rides, but the real excitement of the day was being together again and catching up on the past four months.  It was quickly discovered that being together again made it feel like the summer never ended.  We picked up where we left off and had a great time talking about our fond summer memories.

We are lucky to be living in a time when reaching out to friends near and far has never been easier.  The conveniences of social media, like Facebook, Facetime and Twitter, make it possibly to stay in touch with camp friends throughout the year.  But one thing still holds true….there is no substitute for sitting next to someone and spending time together.  Being together brings back summer memories that no online experience can compare. The camp reunion is a special time that cannot be replaced.  We are fortunate that so many of our campers were able to attend, with many families traveling a far distance to be there.  We especially loved seeing campers that arrived carrying their overnight bags from staying at a camp friend’s house the night before.  Catching up with summer friends and hearing about the impact camp has made on so many lives was the icing on the cake of an already wonderful day.  We missed those of you who were unable to attend, but we do encourage you all to reach out to camp friends in your area, and stay connected to the friendships that mean so much.  Enjoy the holiday season!!!  See you in 207 days!!

The Value of Emotional Intelligence

Take a moment to think about your favorite teacher, favorite coach, favorite camp counselor, or favorite boss.  What makes them so special, so admired and so well respected?  Why do they stand out as successful leaders?  They most likely have what clinical psychologist and author Daniel Goleman refers to as Emotional Intelligence.  They probably exhibit great social skills, patience, empathy, self-awareness and the ability to listen.  They may have high intellect as well, but that is probably not what makes them the great leaders they turned out to be.  Goleman found that while the qualities traditionally associated with leadership – like intelligence and vision - are required for success, they do not paint the full picture.  Intellect can help you get the job, but Emotional Intelligence can help you keep it and continue to climb the ladder of success. Emotional Intelligence involves the ability to recognize and manage one’s own emotions, as well as understanding others’ emotions and effectively communicate with them.  Research supports that Emotional Intelligence has also been found to be one of the most important factors in determining quality and satisfaction of relationships, level of achievement in school and work, and emotional well-being and happiness.  

Home and school are great places to learn skills of Emotional Intelligence, but summer camp may be the one place where Emotional Intelligence is taught and modeled in a natural setting.  There is no need for lesson plans at camp, teachable moments occur on a daily bases.  Campers that are living and playing together have an optimal environment to learn skills of sharing, cooperation, empathy, listening, problem solving, and self-awareness.  Trained camp staff model behavior that encourages effective social interactions…they facilitate the exploration of feelings and emotions whenever a group conflict arises….they provide structure and appropriate discipline… and maintain a positive environment.  Camp teaches healthy relationships, assertive self-expression, and approaching conflict as an opportunity to learn and make positive changes.   These lessons are taught in the most ordinary ways.  It happens when campers have to wait their turn at waterskiing…when they shout words of support to a peer who is fearful of making it to the top of the climbing wall…when an introverted camper is encouraged to challenges themselves and decides to take a part in the camp play…when a bunkmate who is upset learns to express their feelings with constructive words instead of acting out...when friends sit around the camp fire sharing stories and truly listening to one another.  

  

The teachable moments are available on a daily basis, and campers learn so much in a short period of time about themselves, how to get along with others, and hopefully becoming great leaders.  As more and more children grow into adults who feel good about themselves, manage their emotions effectively, communicate clearly, learn how to resolve conflicts and how to meet their needs in a positive way, we will be raising successful leaders in all areas of life.  

Why the World Needs Summer Camp: An Essay to Parents

Jeff Merhige

It is not easy for parents to make the decision to send their child away into the waiting arms of strangers who promise to take care of them — people who promise to show them the wonders of nature, fun, new skills, and friendships. As a parent of two children, even I struggle with the idea, and I have been around summer camps my entire life.

The world needs the next generation to be more tolerant of each other’s views, ideology, and beliefs. Summer camp is an opportunity for children to be exposed to the best of human character. Carefully selected role models are dedicated to showing your child how to have fun, learn from others, and make friends in person rather than online. Camp allows kids to meet people from all over the world, every race, culture, and socioeconomic level. I still remember one of my counselors, Danny, from England, explaining to me, “The world is full of excuses. It doesn’t matter where you came from or what has happened to you. At the end of the day you choose how you treat others.”

There is something magical about a summer camp experience. Each and every camp in the world is different. Not merely because of geography or location, but because of the traditions and people who have touched the camp. Every camp has hidden treasures of history and traditions that give it character and identity. Even with agency camps like the YMCA where there is a common mission, every camp is unique in its style, program, games, geography, traditions, and experience.

Every staff member, alumni camper, and volunteer has memories associated with their time at their camp — memories that stay with them for their lifetime. Most people remember with fondness the coun¬selors, cabins, camp food, camp outs, and special happenings of their time.

Camp is an independent experience that shapes one’s character and life — a controlled, safe environment where chil-dren and youth are able to make their own decisions about simple things (what activity they want to do, how many s’mores they want to make, or what clothes they are going to wear) and about important things (who they will hang out with . . . who will be their friends).

Camp is a place where kids interact with people face-to-face and, at the same time, learn about themselves and others around a camp fire, under the stars, or sitting around a dining hall table. Camp allows the idea of boarding the train to Hogwarts to go from fantasy to reality — children find a world filled with possibilities unavailable to them in everyday life.

Camps give kids a chance to practice being the best they can be. They experience a place designed to create happy memories and encourage self-expression. They have the opportunity to climb towers, ride horses, shoot an arrow, and even experience the success of winning the big game! It stays with them forever. Kids will learn from a full range of emotions and human experi¬ences including homesickness, friendship, disagreements, team work, frustrations, jubilant success, and more.

As parents, our hopes and jobs are to ready our kids to be productive, independent, and capable people — to prepare them to thrive without us. Camp offers a way for kids to start developing those skills in the best possible environment. It makes me a bit sad every time my son runs off to join his cabin group without even a look back . . . and at the same time, I burst with pride watching him growing into a happy, independent, tolerant, open, confident, and capable person. I know that we will have plenty to talk about when he gets home from camp. I also know he will remember the trust and gift of his time at camp, and it will add to him for the rest of his life.

There is so much competition for our children’s time in the summer — sports practices, summer school, well-deserved vacations. But let’s not forget the value of a camp experience — camp is a gift we can give our children that they will benefit from and remember forever. If ever there was a time when the world needed a generation of future leaders who understood the intrica¬cies of living in a community, having toler¬ance, and being open — that time is now.

Jeff Merhige is the executive director of YMCA Camp Kern, a branch of the Greater Dayton YMCA. He has been professionally involved with camping for over twenty years. He and his wife, Amy, met at camp, and have two children, Sydney and Luke.

Originally published in the 2011 November/December Camping Magazine.